oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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