Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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