Apparently you make a good broom.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
