I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We are all done wearing pants today
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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