just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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