Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We don't watch enough power rangers
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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