I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
How's work?
Spinning.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize