There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
