Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize