I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
