i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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