I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
