He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
