Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
