i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
