Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
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We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
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High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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