Who wears a wallet chain?!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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