she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
