Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize