Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
