Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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