Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
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