What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
