so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
