after a month anything with tits is on the radar
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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