Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
