Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
