You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
