I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
