she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
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We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
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I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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