we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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