i was born a porn star she said
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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