it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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