how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
