So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
