i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
