i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
