Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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