If that was your dad, he is hot
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
