He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
