I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the day after is always just damage control
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
