ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
