pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
