we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize