i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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