Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
