Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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