And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
