Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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