Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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