We need to rekindle our bromance
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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