So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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