I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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