I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
