He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she smelled like a LAN party
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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