i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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