I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
