i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
