Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
