WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
