I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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