He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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