no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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