In the future we'll all be gay
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
