people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
